You try and you try, but are haunted by this feeling, this dread of not being enough.
Stop now. No more strivings. That is not the way. It's not possible to get rid of this like that.
Trying to feel enough is the equivalent of a software program running in circles until it crashes because there is a virus compeling the program to believe it has to go on impossible loops to perform the unachievable. The program does not distinguish the virus from its original code; therefore, it keeps itself on a crash loop.
Yes. It is a virus. Not something you are lacking, but something old that you have been carrying for far too long in most cases. It's added weight, not lack.
Somewhere in your early years, someone important to you might have acted consistently in such a way that somehow they conveyed they were not truly happy with you and your FULL existence. Maybe a depressed mother unable to fully let their child feel cherished and loved; maybe an overly volatile or reproving/disappointed parent. Maybe.
You need to identify the sources.
This feeling—the shadow of something never achieved (and in fact unachievable)—requires you to:
1. develop the art of teaching others how to treat you
2. the art of lowering patience to others (and letting them earn that precious resource out of you)
3. being ruthless, not just assertive, when anyone tries to induce insufficiency in you or control you through it.
Ruthless means to end the war as it is set to begin. You end wars not by fighting them but by disconnecting and refusing to partake in their complementary roles. Otherwise, if you feel insufficient or try to justify yourself or attack the other party, you will be feeding chaos, and letting others take away your peace, and other resources.
Protect your peace of mind at all costs, ruthlessly if you must. Those who go through enough "fires" in life eventually come out humble on the other side. Life likes to forge that into our souls in the long run. Here, not only your peace of mind will be naturally treasured, but you will lose any hooks regarding individuals that bring chaos, unprovoked hostility or defiance to your life. You naturally disconnect as your soul and heart start to regard some individuals as irrelevant to life, immature, and on a path of self-destruction, with low chances of ever coming out of those really hard life events that are essentially "scripted" into our lives. Those who carry disdain in their hearts and scorn towards other human beings are the least capable of dealing with those BIG mountains that lie ahead in our paths. They don't ever get past them in most cases.
Take back the freedom to live life how you want it. Don't go on about life trying to make good on debts someone else or something outside has tried to place on you. You will lose control of your life.
Enjoy the company of those that cherish you and help you thrive. Cut everyone else out. For your own sake.
Dr. Diogo Gonçalves
Clinical Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Stop now. No more strivings. That is not the way. It's not possible to get rid of this like that.
Trying to feel enough is the equivalent of a software program running in circles until it crashes because there is a virus compeling the program to believe it has to go on impossible loops to perform the unachievable. The program does not distinguish the virus from its original code; therefore, it keeps itself on a crash loop.
Yes. It is a virus. Not something you are lacking, but something old that you have been carrying for far too long in most cases. It's added weight, not lack.
Somewhere in your early years, someone important to you might have acted consistently in such a way that somehow they conveyed they were not truly happy with you and your FULL existence. Maybe a depressed mother unable to fully let their child feel cherished and loved; maybe an overly volatile or reproving/disappointed parent. Maybe.
You need to identify the sources.
This feeling—the shadow of something never achieved (and in fact unachievable)—requires you to:
1. develop the art of teaching others how to treat you
2. the art of lowering patience to others (and letting them earn that precious resource out of you)
3. being ruthless, not just assertive, when anyone tries to induce insufficiency in you or control you through it.
Ruthless means to end the war as it is set to begin. You end wars not by fighting them but by disconnecting and refusing to partake in their complementary roles. Otherwise, if you feel insufficient or try to justify yourself or attack the other party, you will be feeding chaos, and letting others take away your peace, and other resources.
Protect your peace of mind at all costs, ruthlessly if you must. Those who go through enough "fires" in life eventually come out humble on the other side. Life likes to forge that into our souls in the long run. Here, not only your peace of mind will be naturally treasured, but you will lose any hooks regarding individuals that bring chaos, unprovoked hostility or defiance to your life. You naturally disconnect as your soul and heart start to regard some individuals as irrelevant to life, immature, and on a path of self-destruction, with low chances of ever coming out of those really hard life events that are essentially "scripted" into our lives. Those who carry disdain in their hearts and scorn towards other human beings are the least capable of dealing with those BIG mountains that lie ahead in our paths. They don't ever get past them in most cases.
Take back the freedom to live life how you want it. Don't go on about life trying to make good on debts someone else or something outside has tried to place on you. You will lose control of your life.
Enjoy the company of those that cherish you and help you thrive. Cut everyone else out. For your own sake.
Dr. Diogo Gonçalves
Clinical Psychologist
Psychotherapist